• jim posted an update 1 year, 4 months ago

    I went to a church BBQ this Sunday.. shame everyone ignored me!
    I started going to church recently to help strengthen my faith, learn more about the bible, meet new people and boost my confidence.. however things haven’t gone to plan. I have found learning about god and the bible really something amazing but iv not really had a warm welcome at all by the other church goers as for some reason I am getting the cold shoulder from them!
    I have been going to the church for the past 5 weeks now and have only managed to talk to a small handful of about four or five people out of the 500 or so that go to the church…. but that didn’t really bother me at first because I reckoned that over time I would meet and talk to more people and that at the Church BBQ I would be able to get to socialize with everyone there but I was wrong.
    When I went after the Sunday service I was totally ignored by everyone at the BBQ.. those who I had met before at the church didn’t seem at all bothered with talking to me and just wanted to get back to talking to their real friends.. I found myself just standing around like an idiot not talking to anyone or doing much for a whole hour and a half watching everyone else talking to each other and having a great time.

    The BBQ experience kind of reminded me of school… just being ignored.. not fitting in and feeling like a spare part something I never would have expected to happen at church.
    I guess you could say I should have made an effort but I am not the most confident person in the world so approaching random strangers and trying to talk to them is something I find extremely hard and it is made even harder when they form unsmiling intimidating packs of groups.

    Before I started going to the church I read on the Sheffield forum a thread about the church with pages and pages of people saying how great the church is but at the very end someone added “if you are a white single man they hate you” which shows that I am not the only person that hasn’t had a warm welcome from this church.

    When I finally got back home I felt rotten about myself and started wondering what I could have possibly have done to offend these people to just cast me out like that. I even started questioning that maybe I am not even a good enough person to be a Christian and that these people might have seen this so that is why they did not want to talk to me.
    So this sort of thing where you are made to feel unwelcome could be really bad especially if someone is new to Christianity as that person may start questioning their new found faith or as though they are not allowed to be a Christian because their not part of the club… But there is no club!!! This is not what Christianity is about as god loves you no matter who you are.. how rich or popular you are.
    So If you have had a similar experience of going to a church and just being ignored don’t let this bring you down.. ignoring people is not Christian and isn’t something Jesus would want at all. Jesus is everyone’s friend.

    If you are reading this and you are popular at a church please please try to make everyone as popular as you at the church no matter who they are and how long they have been going even just going up to people who are on their own and saying hi and starting a conversation with that person will do so much good!

    P.s If anyone from sheffield knows a church for me to go to? I have not given up on this church as I will still go to it and try my best to get to know people whether they like it or not (Plus the services are quite good even if they dont not practise what they preach about being inclusive) lol but would also be good to go to another church aswell so if anyone know one please share in the comments below. thanks.

    • After waking up this morning I am still feeling kind of down about what happened yesterday. I feel really disappointed in both myself and other people, but I know it is probably not the people at that churches fault because who am I to expect anything from these people they have their friends..
      I’m also thinking that maybe this church just isn’t for me as well…
      I have noticed something really bad that happens at the church after the service the white people gather in inclusive groups over at one half the hall and the black people seem to gather in inclusive groups at the opposite side of the hall and do not speak AT ALL to each other.
      Also even though I agree with most of the things that the church preaches about there are things that I disagree with that they believe.. for instance buying miracles! At the church they say that the more money that you give the church the more blessed you are and you will be rewarded with miracles and I just think that this is wrong. As god loves you and it doesn’t matter how rich you are and how much money you give to the church. You should give money to the poor to help people not to just get a miracle in return.
      I have also been doing some research on the internet about the church and have found on a few discussion forums online that other people that have went to the church have felt unwelcome and have noticed just how cliquey the church is.
      I am not going to give up on the church and will continue to go.. I will just have to either force myself to randomly go up to one of the clique groups to see if they will accept me or just no bother and just go for the service and to learn more about the bible than go for socializing.

      I have posted my experience on a few Christian forums to get their opinions and a lot of people are telling me not to give up and that all churches are different and have a different dynamic and community to them so just because this church is a bit cliquey doesn’t mean all churches are like this.

    • Scratch all of that! I went to a church football event this week and have met so many great people. So if your reading this and are struggling to make friends with people just dont give up!