Denise, have the darn op. I was in exactly the same place as Melly. I found the post-op pain worse than the hip pain but at least it got better in the end. Worse thing was sleeping on my back for 3 months. I have an old back injury which means I have a lot of pain if I am on my back. I had to sleep sitting up. Horrid but it did improve in the end. Like Melly I was still looking after Mum during the recovery period.
Your wrist will not get better, only worse. If there’s a chance you can fix it then get the care in place and do it so you can cope again in the future. There comes a point when the best choice between 2 evils is the one which gives some hope.